These past two days have been spent trying to not start crying at any given moment. I thought I had been doing better with living here in Texas, but it seems that sometimes feelings of sadness creep their way back into my heart. I have been complaining to the Lord, telling Him that I miss being held and that I can't remember being hugged for more than three seconds at a time since moving here. But of course, in true Jesus fashion, He makes it hard to be angry at Him. These words I just typed have been wrestling around in my mind all day. He makes it hard to be angry at Him. My mind knows the truth, but does my heart have the courage to believe that He is always good and is always with me?
Just an hour after crying out about being untouched, a sweet guy named Alex in my English class comes over to me and asks if he can give me a hug. "Will you receive my love, Natalie?" whispers the Lord.
Yes, Jesus. I will receive your love. I pray for a heart that is completely surrendered and ready to receive whatever you want to give. You are the Giver of all good and precious things, how can I not be moved by the love that you continue to show to my faithless heart? Thank you for walking with me, and for the joy that fills my heart as I remember all of the things I have to be thankful for. I am Yours and You are mine.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39
Really?! Nat, I love you and am so proud of you. Words can't describe.
ReplyDeleteNatalie! Brittney pointed me toward your blog, and I'm SO glad she did! One of my favorite things about all our visits up to WA have been the sweet hugs hello and goodbye from you. As I read this post, I'm touched, because I know how you feel. When I moved to California from Indiana, even though I had family out here, all my friends and the parts of my family I'd grown up with were in Indiana. My comfort was gone, and I had no one to run to when I needed to run. I've lived here for 8 1/2 years now, and I've built a life here...and I still sometimes feel like I need a hug and there's no one here to give it to me. Keep listening to those whispers from Him, and you'll never feel truly alone. You have such a sweet heart, and you're going to do great in this new season of your life!
ReplyDeleteRachel you are so sweet! That just completely encouraged my heart. I am so thankful for you! I miss you and Danimal, you should come up for Christmas so that I can see you!! :)
ReplyDeleteWe miss you, too! We would love to come up, if we can make it work out.
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