Twelve Days Until Christmas: Part 5

"On the eleventh day of Christmas, Bridgette gave to me: 11 Business cards"

"On the twelfth day of Christmas, Bridgette gave to me: 12 Chick fil A spoons"

My friend Bridgette had to help me out on the last two days, she is such a sweet heart! I am so glad to be home and am excited for this Christmas break.

Twelve Days Until Christmas: Part 4

"On the ninth day of christmas, Teeter gave to me: nine types of candy" (for our WINNING Gingerbead house!)

"On the tenth day of Christmas, my mother gave to me: 10 phone kisses"

Almost done! Only two more days!

Twelve Days Until Christmas: Part 3

"On the sixth day of Christmas, Lindsey gave to me: six frosted cookies"

"On the seventh day of Christmas, the TV lounge gave to me: seven Megamind viewers"

"On the eighth day of Christmas, Trinity Church gave to me: eight favorite songs"


I am getting so excited for the Christmas season, especially after going to church at Trinity this morning! Pastor Jim preached on Mary's faith in Jesus and it was truly inspiring. The part that spoke most to my heart was this: Faith says, "I'm trusting You with my significance." 
I want to have the responsibility of my significance in the hands of my Savior, who loves me and puts His glory in me. Mary took the glory that God had literally put inside of her, and gave it back to God. "My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior" (Luke 1:46-47)

Sweet Mary. I want to have a faith like yours.
"Blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished!" Luke 1:45

12 Days Until Christmas: Part 2

On the third day of Christmas Women of Ministry gave to me: 3 tasty treats

On the fourth day of Christmas B Dubs gave to me: four free wings

On the fifth day of Christmas my cell phone gave to me: five lovely calls!

My song is getting lame! However, I am just so excited about the verse that I am working on memorizing. It is about the best gift I have ever received:

The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

When I read the words "We have seen his glory," tears fill my eyes. I have seen His glory! It is everywhere. I pray for eyes to see it. More importantly, for the eyes of my heart to see it. This Christmas season, I especially want to remember the glory that is visible because of all that Jesus has given me.

12 Days Until Christmas: Part 1

My mom has challenged me to write my own Twelve Days of Christmas Song, naming twelve gifts that I receive until the day I come home for Christmas break on December 9th. Slightly strange? Yes. But this gives me a chance to have eyes to see the gifts that God gives me each day!

For example, yesterday she gave me the first verse:

"On the first day of Christmas, my mother gave to me: a family photo with Zeke."

Today's is:

"On the second day of Christmas, SAGU gave to me: two ornaments"

Grace

This past week has been full of fighting and feeling quite defeated. I feel like every time I take a step forward in my relationship with the Lord, I move backward because of random circumstances around me. But in the midst of these perceived injustices, I hear the Lord saying, "You can not out grace me, Natalie. Keep giving." Oh but it is painful! It is so hard to want to give grace when I feel like I receive none. But that in and of itself is a lie. I have everything I need for life and godliness. And grace only increases.

I can't out grace Him. I can't out love Him. I can't out run Him.  I can't out fight Him.

I have found that sometimes the only way to find peace is to remember that I am very small, and He is very big. Very strong. Very mighty. Very beautiful. Very powerful.


You are stronger, You are stronger
Sin is broken, You have saved me
It is written, Christ is risen
Jesus, You are Lord of all


From the fullness of his grace we have all received one blessing after another. John 1:16

Christmas Decorations!

Honestly, this might be the most productive thing we have done all semester. I LOVE CHRISTMAS!

I spent the evening with my beautiful and sweet friend Evin. Evin is my best friend here in Texas and she is always up for an adventure, late night coffee runs, and deep heart talks. Honestly, she is the biggest gift the Lord has given me since coming to SAGU, and I am so blessed by her and her heart for Jesus. In the short few months I have known Evin, she has taught me a lot about forgiveness and truly letting the Lord have his way in our lives. She also loves Texas with her whole heart, and has made it easy for me to love this place, too.


But back to decorating! Only 45 more days until the best day of the year! Love love love!

My roommate Heather and I's bags for the door

Those green things are mittens that I made! Ev did the bows!

The penguin is a gift I got in the mail from my beloved mom :) So precious.

The final product- 3 hours later :)

Sunday Morning Reflection

Today I attended my tenth church since moving to Texas. TENTH CHURCH! In some ways it makes me laugh, in other ways it makes me sad and long for my church back home. But anyway, the church I went to today is called Foundation of Life, and I really enjoyed going there. The message that the pastor spoke went deep in my heart. The sentence he said that most spoke to me was this, "Most of the church is mad at the harvest. You can't reach people that you are mad at."

My eyes are wide and I nod my head. Because it is true. I am mad that people abort babies. I am mad that people tell me I'm judgmental because I don't support homosexuality. I am mad that christianity is either portrayed in the media as being weak and ignorant, or as overbearing and cocky.

I realize that I am useless to God if I can't get past my anger and frustrations, and love people despite what they think of me or judge me for being. I want to be a vessel of God, a tool that He uses to reach the perishing people of this world. So yet again, I am humbled and pray that the Lord would fix this in me. That he would change my heart towards unconditional love and remind me that I am saved by grace, and grace is what this world needs too.

Do I still get to hate the sin and darkness of the world? Absolutely. I am not in any way going to change my views on these issues. However, my heart needs to be reminded that I am a worker and now is the time of the harvest. I don't want to miss out on bringing people to the throne of Jesus because I am angry at them for what they are doing.

Jesus, thank You for conviction of the Holy Spirit. Lord I pray that when I become angry with people, You would remind me of the great love You have shown to me, so that I can in turn love others. God I choose to forgive those who have judged me. Help me to forgive as You forgave me. I ask for Your mercy on this world. I pray for Your words to penetrate hearts, so that people might see You and believe in You. God, I thank You that You are in control and You see everything, nothing is hidden from You. Jesus, please soften my heart and cause me to be more like You. I love You and I praise Your name. You are good and Your love endures forever.


For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 1st Corinthians 1:18

Beloved John

I have been doing a 90 day devotional study on the apostle John, written by Beth Moore. I am currently on day 50 something and could not be enjoying it more. Honestly, I feel like John and I are best friends and sometimes I have to remind myself that I haven't actually met the beloved disciple of Jesus. But what made me giggle the other night (and probably weird my roommate out) was that my heart just cried out, "Jesus, I love John! He was such an example of love and he knew You!" One of the points that Beth Moore keeps coming back to is that it is because of John's love and relationship with Jesus that he got to be the one whom the revelation was given to.
Right after crying out about John, the Lord said this quickly to my heart, "Yes, and I love him too." At this point I am crying. Jesus intimately loved the apostle John. Oh how I pray that I would be the disciple to recline against the chest of the Almighty.
And though it might be weird that it means so much to me that Jesus loves John, since I have nothing to do with this picture, there is just peace about knowing that it is true. Jesus loves. Intimately. Passionately. With everything that He is, Jesus loves.

Lord Jesus, thank You for Your love. I choose to open my heart up to You and turn my eyes upon You. May I not be ashamed to know You or be associate with You, like John was. I pray that at the end of my life, it can be said that I loved You and You loved me. Ah! The thought of being with You brings me to my knees. And most of all Lord, may I not shy away from intimacy with You. I want to be a girl who always rests her head upon Your chest and hears Your heart beat. I love you. I love you. I love you. 


Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

I like to think that John is surrounding me as a part of the great cloud of witnesses!

Austin!

This weekend I had the chance to go to Austin, Texas, which is a few hours away from SAGU! It was so fun and such a sweet weekend full of walking though downtown Austin, eating delicious foods, and being with new friends. I loved going to the Capitol building and seeing the beautiful architecture of the huge buildings that make up the University of Texas campus.

It was a refreshing get away and I had an absolute blast!

My sweet friend and I sitting on a longhorn in our UT shirts!

In front of the state capitol building

Downtown Austin- UT college life :)

Receiving Love

These past two days have been spent trying to not start crying at any given moment. I thought I had been doing better with living here in Texas, but it seems that sometimes feelings of sadness creep their way back into my heart. I have been complaining to the Lord, telling Him that I miss being held and that I can't remember being hugged for more than three seconds at a time since moving here. But of course, in true Jesus fashion, He makes it hard to be angry at Him. These words I just typed have been wrestling around in my mind all day. He makes it hard to be angry at Him. My mind knows the truth, but does my heart have the courage to believe that He is always good and is always with me?
Just an hour after crying out about being untouched, a sweet guy named Alex in my English class comes over to me and asks if he can give me a hug. "Will you receive my love, Natalie?" whispers the Lord.

Yes, Jesus. I will receive your love. I pray for a heart that is completely surrendered and ready to receive whatever you want to give. You are the Giver of all good and precious things, how can I not be moved by the love that you continue to show to my faithless heart? Thank you for walking with me, and for the joy that fills my heart as I remember all of the things I have to be thankful for. I am Yours and You are mine.


For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

Thunder and Lightning

Thunder and lightning startled me awake at 3 AM this morning. This is not uncommon, in fact, this has happened a couple of times since moving here to Texas. The first of these times, I jumped out of my bed and ran to the window to watch, but this morning I just listened and attempted to fall back asleep. The thunder echoes in the court yard that separates my dorm from the dorm across the way. Then rain begins to pound against my windows- but unlike thunder and lightning, this is nothing new to me. The rain comforts me by reminding me of home, and I fall quickly back into sleep. Several hours later, I wake up to get ready for church, and look outside to see what the weather is doing now. Clear blue skies, a beautiful sunrise, and almost dry pavements greet my tired eyes. This causes a happy sigh in my heart and I begin to get ready for church. But I can sense that the Lord has something to say about what my eyes are seeing; and I hear this, "New mercies are a little bit like Texas." I can feel my heart softening at these words. Sometimes there is pain and hard things that happen at night. I find myself too often laying awake, being fearful and upset about things that happened during the day. But Jesus offers new mercies when I awake, and I have the choice to be glad and receive them. And isn't it true that the sunshine is much more beautiful to eyes that have seen the darkness of the night?